You deserve someone
by 1alucard1
Summary: Based on Lucifer's confession at the beach, right before they kissed.
1. Chapter 1

Two beings to whom time had all but lost its meaning stood in a police precinct in L.A., contemplating immortality. Ways to circumvent immortality, to be precise.

"What if we shot you into the sun?"

" _What_?"

"They are bound to develop the technology to do that one day."

Pierce tilted his head to the side, considering "That ... might actually work."

Lucifer hummed, thinking his idea through. "If it does not work though, you will be pretty much screwed."

"Hmm." Pierce said, monosyllabic as ever.

Lucifer huffed, frustrated that the solution had eluded him so far. To be fair, Pierce had quite the head start in trying to end his life.

"What if we were to put you on ice? Cryogenic sleep? It wouldn't be the same as death, but very close."

"Tried it. I ... thaw."

Lucifer rubbed his temples. "It's like you're trying to be difficult about this!", he said accusingly. Pierce didn't deign that statement with an answer.

Lucifer sighed. "There is one hypothesis of mine I haven't shared with you yet." He looked through the window of Pierce's office to where Chloe was standing, holding a case file, instructing a fellow officer about something.

Pierce raised an eyebrow, following his gaze.

"Shortly after I met the detective, I was shot six times while in close proximity to her."

Pierce furrowed his brow. "That's mentioned nowhere in the case files."

"I shouldn't think so, no. I was entirely unaffected. Thinking about it later, I put it down to the fact that we barely knew each other then. That maybe I hadn't been exposed to her enough yet to be made vulnerable." He paused. "There are ... other possible explanations though."

Pierce stared at him with an unreadable expression. It really was like talking to a wall with him sometimes.

"It might be that she only started affecting me after I- after- um-"

"After you developed feelings for her", Pierce finished, his tone carefully neutral.

"After I started caring about her", Lucifer amended.

"I've considered that variable."

"You have?" Lucifer asked, surprised.

"When it comes to my death, I never leave any possible avenues unexplored, but-"

"But?"

Pierce sighed. He suddenly looked weary. "But, allowing myself to care for her is potentially more threatening to my well-being than, say, shooting myself into the sun."

"Ah."

Pierce looked back out of the window at the subject of their conversation. Lucifer noticed a miniscule change in the set of his jaw, and knew he had reached a decision. He wasn't sure he was going to like it.

Pierce purposefully strode to the door.

"Wait", Lucifer called after him, suddenly anxious.

Pierce turned around. Lucifer saw in the set of his shoulders that he was readying himsef for a fight.

"There is one favour I would ask of you."

Pierce relaxed, clearly having expected something else.

"If it does work, don't kill yourself."

Pierce just stared at him, confused. Lucifer took a deep breath and went on.

"Grow old with her. Give her a shot at happiness. She deserves it."

Realization spread over Pierce's face and he regarded Lucifer with something akin to pity for a moment. Then he nodded.

"What's one more lifetime", he answered jovially.

"Make this one count", Lucifer said, his voice almost threatening.

"Of course", Pierce said. Then he turned around and left the office.

Lucifer watched him approach Chloe. He watched her smile warmly at Pierce and there was a sudden lump in his throat. _You deserve someone worthy of you. And that's not me._ He had been right then. It had been foolish of him to think otherwise. _You deserve someone better. Someone worthy of your grace._ He wasn't sure Pierce was worthy, either. But that was not up to him to decide. He took a shaky breath and, without sparing the two of them another glance, rushed out of the precinct, vowing never to return.


	2. Chapter 2

Lucifer sat at his piano, playing one fast, up-beat song after another. A line of empty shot glasses went almost from one side of the piano to the other. Around him, one of his infamous parties was in full swing. People were dancing and making out all over his loft. There were, in fact, two lovely naked ladies snogging right in front of him on the piano. He should join them, he thought. He just hadn't quite mustered up the energy to do so yet.

The elevator doors opened and unleashed hell's fury on his party. Well, not _literally_. Chloe strode in, radiating righteous anger. Lucifer stared at her, mouth agape, as one might look at a tornado suddenly appearing out of nowhere.

"You", she said, pointing an accusing finger at him, her voice cold fury, "Have. Got. Some. Nerve. Mister."

All Lucifer could do was stare at her. He caught himself thinking _She looks quite lovely when she's upet_ and mentally slapped himself in the face. Snap out of it.

"How dare you?", she all but spat at him, then she noticed the half-naked as well as entirely naked assortment of people around her and deflated slightly. Her cheeks blushed a dark red and Lucifer thought she looked even lovelier like this. _Somebody save me_ , he thought. _Not you._ , he added with a disdainful glance at the ceiling.

"You are not happy until you've meddled with everything, are you?", she went on, pointedly ignoring what was going on around them and focussing her attention only on him.

He felt his own anger flaring up. "I don't _meddle_. That's dad's thing."

"Oh really?", she said sarcastically.

Lucifer rubbed his temples. He needed to clear his head. He had no idea what was happening.

"Okay, everybody out", he demanded flatly. When nobody made a move towards the elevator, he yelled "Out!" His guests stared at him in shock, then started scrambling over the floor, collecting hastily discarded clothing.

When the last group of them had fled to the elevator, Lucifer stood up, swaying slightly. He sighed wearily. "Let's start over, shall we? To what do I owe the pleasure of your company this fine day?" His tone was flat, he sounded tired more than anything else.

Chloe cocked her head to the side, scrutinizing him. "Are you drunk?"

He snapped. "Yes, I am drunk! And in my own apartment, minding my own damn business, no less! How scandalous!"

Chloe had the decency to look chagrined. "Sorry. I just- What the hell did you tell Pierce?"

"What?"

"Oh come on. You know what I do for a living. He's all _Not interested, because everybody dies_ or some such excuse and then you two get all chummy and it's like he's suddenly a different person."

"I thought you'd be happy!"

"Aha!", she jabbed him in the chest with her index finger. And he still thought she looked absolutely stunning. He was clearly beyond saving. "So you do admit you did something!"

"I tried to make things better."

Chloe invaded his personal space, fire dancing in her eyes. Lucifer leaned back unconsciously. Chloe spoke very slowly, fuming with every word.

"I am sick and tired of you making decisions about me, about us, without involving me."

He leaned forward and down, coming almost nose to nose with the detective. "The point was always to give you a choice, not to take it away from you."

She huffed. "You could have fooled me."

He looked away, then rubbed his hands over his eyes. "You don't have all the information. You never had all the information."

"Oh? Is this where you tell me some nefarious secret about Pierce that will change everything? Was that your plan all along?"

"No!", he bellowed, drawing himself up to his full height, squaring his shoulders, glaring down at her. Now it was Chloe who took a step backwards without thinking. "Not about Pierce. About me."

Chloe didn't move any further, refusing to be intimitated by him.

"So tell me. Please. For once, just tell me the truth. No secret plans to help me, no arranging things behind my back. Just tell me the truth. Give me a choice." It was her pleading that did him in.

"You want to choose?", he all but spat the words in her face. He clenched his fists, and something in his stature changed. It seemed to her that, impossible though it was, he became even taller. Reality seemed to blur for a moment and then there were two massive wings unfolding behind his back, spreading outwards to engulf her entire field of vision.

" _So choose_ ", he yelled, furious, towering above her.


	3. Chapter 3

Chloe stumbled backwards, hitting the bar with a loud thud. Lucifer didn't move, standing frozen on the spot, his fists clenching and unclenching, his breathing coming in short gasps, his jaw trembling. He made a terrifying picture with his enormous wing span. He looked like a predator ready to tear something apart and yet- maybe it was her cop instincts or maybe it was because she knew him so well, but she also saw something else. She saw it in the panicky look in his eyes and the way they flitted to the elevator and back to her. _Please don't run. Please. Please don't-_ she ran.

Before the elevator doors were fully closed behind her, she heard a sickening thud, accompanied by the sound of splintering wood and breaking glass. It was followed by an inhuman howl, filled with anger and hurt.

She made it downstairs and halfway through Lux before her knees gave in and she crashed to the ground, grabbing for a nearby chair as she fell.

Memories flooded her mind. _Do you still think you're the devil?_ , she'd asked him. _I_ am _the devil_. Could she even count how many times he had said it to her? Over and over and over again? In her mind's eye, she saw him throw a grown man through a glass wall with one hand as if he were a doll. Saw him lift another by the throat in a church as if he were no more than an insect to be squashed by him. How had she allowed herself to be so blind?

There was another impact upstairs and the _walls_ of the building shook. _Dear God_ , she thought. _His father_. Because he's an angel. An archangel. Banned from heaven. There was a heaven. And hell. It was all too much to take in.

She lowered her head to the floor, touching the cool, reassuring solidity of it with her forehead. She took in a deep breath. This is still the same floor I walked over yesterday, she told herself. The world had not shifted. It was always like this. She was just living in denial until now.

She heard the faint echo of another scream and the whole building shook again. _God Almighty_ , she thought. She remembered all the times he had been angry, ready to deliver punishment, and she had held him back with nothing more than her words. This is what she'd held back. He had spared them just because she asked him to.

So, the floor hadn't changed, but had he? Was he still the same man she talked to yesterday? Well, for one, he wasn't a man. But he had told her this from the start. Had told her he would never lie to her. And she believed him. And, she realized with utter amazement, she still believed him. All the pieces fit together suddenly. So many things about him made so much more sense now. His arrogance, his confidence, his power to draw out people's desires, his ... hurt. His anger. _Banned from heaven. Send to rule hell for all eternity._ What must that be like?, she thought, spending day in, day out, with the absolute worst of humanity, commanded to inflict pain, to cause more suffering. What would that do to a person? She shuddered. _I am not evil._ He had been very insistent on that as well. And she still believed that it was the truth, as she always had. So what now?

She sat up, eyeing the elevator wearily. Could she really go up there? Wouldn't it be better to give him some time to cool off? She didn't want to be snuffed out by some piece of debris flying her way. On the other hand, he was probably thinking right now that she had abandoned him. Abandoned him like everybody else in his life. Running scared. As if he would ever hurt her. If nothing else, of that much she was certain. He would never hurt her.

 _Okay_ , she thought. Just go up and help your friend. You can do that, right? He's in pain and he needs your help. Everything else is just details. Focus on that. He's in pain. He's alone. Nobody else is coming to help him. She stood up slowly and stared at the elevator doors. Right. The building shook again and she flinched. _He won't hurt you._ She repeated it like a mantra in her head. _He won't hurt you_

* * *

The elevator doors pinged open and Chloe gasped as she surveyed the trail of destruction running through the apartment. The piano lay in splinters on and _inside_ the bar. It looked like every single piece of glass had been shattered, flying in all directions, covering almost every inch of the living area. Chloe's gaze travelled on and caught on the south wall. Or, to be precise, the huge hole in the south wall. It looked as though he had just kept punching at the wall until the wall had just given in. The goddamn wall of a skyscraper. She discovered more debris as she went on. It seemed the throwing hadn't stopped at the piano. She saw what she presumed were the sad remains of his bed as well as what looked to have once been a jacuzzi.

And there he was. Sitting among the debris, his shoulders slumped forward, head in his hands. His wings were curled around him much like a security blanket. There was blood on his knuckles.

Chloe stepped forward, crunching a piece of broken glass under her boot. His head snapped up at the sudden noise. He looked at her with such wonder and astonishment that for a moment Chloe wondered if maybe _she_ had grown wings.

He jumped up, moving in her direction and, without meaning to, Chloe flinched. Lucifer froze mid-stride. He slowly, deliberately, lifted his hands, palms outwards. Then he made a quick move with his shoulders and the wings dissappeared. He locked eyes with her. It was as if he was trying to hold her in place by the sheer force of his will. She saw the familiar pleading in his eyes. He knelt down, clearly trying to make himself as non-threatening as possible. As if he were afraid she might bolt at any moment.

Apart from his knuckles, there was also a nasty gash on his arm. There was blood on his shirt and face as well, but Chloe couldn't discern whether that was from his arm or another source. Lucifer remained stock-still in his kneeling position, waiting for her to decide what to do.

Chloe took a deep breath, then turned around. She could see his expression change, whichever small bit of hope her return had induced dying on his face. But instead of walking to the elevator, she went into his bathroom. It looked as if a tornado had struck here as well. How had he been able to wreak this much havoc in the short time that she had been away? She found a clean towel which had somehow survived the apocalypse and went to the sink to wet it. The sink was barely attached to the wall.

She returned to find Lucifer staring at her, following her every move, emotions flickering over his face. The anger was gone now and he looked at her in confusion. She approached him slowly, needing to make sure he was fine with this. When she reached him, she knelt down and picked up one of his hands, removing the blood with careful little dabs. When she looked up from her task to meet his eyes, she found him looking at her as if she were the most fascinating thing he had ever encountered. The confusion on his face changed to something else, astonishment and budding hope. It was beautiful to see.

"You're not afraid of me?" His voice was hoarse, but she still heard the same sense of wonder there that was mirrored on his face.

She'd finished with his right hand and lifted up his other hand, inspecting the knuckles. He looked down at their hands, brow furrowed, as if he still couldn't believe this was really happening.

"I'm afraid-" She saw a shadow pass over his features "- _for_ you, you idiot. You could have really hurt yourself. What were you thinking?"

He just kept staring at her, apparently at a loss for words for once. She moved on to remove the blood from his face and he flinched at the touch.

"Sorry", she said, trying to rub the blood away even more softly. He laid his hand over hers, stopping her. She noticed for the first time that he was trembling slightly. He closed his eyes, leaning towards her. "You came back", he whispered, something akin to reverence in his voice.

"You came back", he repeated as if this was an entirely unbelievable statement. He opened his eyes again.

"I'm the devil", he told her, once more. For the first time, she really listened. She really listened and heard the pain, the self-loathing, the shame, the hatred of what he was, of what he'd been made into.

"I'm sorry."

"You're ... sorry?"

"I'm sorry for what you've gone through. I'm sorry I never believed you. I'm sorry you get blamed for other people's failings. I'm sorry your father is an asshole." He huffed out a small laugh. She thought about that last one for a bit. "I'm _really_ sorry your father is an asshole, because that means we're all a tiny bit fucked, like on an existential level." She felt she was starting to babble nonsense so she shut up. Lucifer kept looking at her as if she'd hung up the moon. It was a little unnerving.

She put the towel away and cupped his face with her hand. He leaned into her touch, closing his eyes once more. He kept leaning forward until their foreheads touched. She felt him exhale a shaky breath.

They remained like this for a long moment. Then Lucifer suddenly drew his arms around her, pulling her close.

"You came back", he said again. It sounded like a prayer. Chloe returned the embrace, resting her head on his shoulder. After a while she pulled back, and checked something on her phone.

"Well, I'm late for a date with Pierce." The horrified expression on his face was priceless. She raised an eyebrow and smiled at him. "But given the evening's events it's probably best if I cancel. Should I cancel?" He couldn't hide the relief washing over his face.

"That's up to you, isn't it?", he said, chocking a little on the words.

She locked eyes with him, serious again. "Tell me you need me here and that's where I'll remain."

"I need you."

She gave him a warm smile, surprised by his openness. Then she looked around.

"On second thought, let's go to my place. It's a bit drafty here. What with the holes in the wall and everything." Then a sudden realization hit her. "Oh God. A demon is babysitting my daughter."

He smiled at her. "You know, you're taking this surprisingly well."

She nodded. "I do reserve the right to freak out later. Please don't take it personal."

"I'll try. Linda knows, if you ever need somebody to talk to who is not- you know-"

"An angel?" She looked at him again and he thought for a moment that the promised freak-out was already upon him, but then she added, "You know, you're probably as far away from how I pictured an angel as it is possible to get."

"Thank you", he said gleefully, clearly delighted by this assessment. "I'm sure you've got lots of questions."

"Yes", she said and Lucifer sighed wearily, preparing himself. Chloe looked down at his arm. "To start with, do you have a first aid kit?"

And there was that look again. Like he wasn't entirely sure what was happening. Like he always expected the worst and now he didn't trust that she was really here, was really talking to him as if everything was okay, even though she _knew_.

Instead of replying, he leaned down and kissed her. It was quite chaste, merely a brush of his lips, then he pulled back suddenly.

"Sorry. I probably should have asked before doing that."

He looked at her, clearly waiting for an outburst. _The devil kissed me_ , Chloe thought. A fallen angel. A fallen archangel. Kissed me. She waited for the onset of panic but it never came. She shrugged, and smiled at him.

"You never cease to amaze me", he stated, wonder in his voice.

"Good", she said, and kissed him.


End file.
